Conflict's Slippery Slope

While recently reading Peacemaking for Families, I was reminded of Ken Sande's insightful Slippery Slope of Conflict. Sande points out three ways people basically respond (or react) to conflict. "These responses may be arranged on a curve or slippery slope that resembles an icy hill with two rapidly declining sides. One the left side of the hill are escape responses, on the right side are attack responses, and holding the high ground are peacemaking responses." (This material can also be found in Sande's original Peacemaking book.)

Escape Responses

"The escape responses to conflict are favored by those who are more interested in avoiding a conflict than resolving it. Escape responses are generally directed inward; they are usually all about me. Escapers are looking for what is easy, convenient, or nonthreatening for themselves." [pg. 8]

Attack Responses

"These responses are employed by those more interested in wining a fight than preserving a relationship. Conflict for these folks is an opportunity to assert their rights, to control others, or to take advantage of their situation... Attackers are not focused on me as escapers are, but on you - they blame... Attackers are [often willing] to sacrifice relationships and domestic harmony to get what they want." [pg. 9]

 So, in the midst of conflict, to which side do you find yourself most often* slipping - to the left (escaping) or to the right (attacking)?

[*Sande notes that in most prolonged conflicts, people frequently alternate between the escape and attack response.]

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